Chapter 241
My past with Jace had left some serious scars. I needed to know–was I really that unappealing? Like, was I the kind of girl who could be held like this without him feeling anything? Someone he could resist without even breaking a sweat?
“Hayden,” I whispered, my hand sliding up his back, pulling him closer through his shirt. My nails dug in a
little..
His whole body went stiff, and he sucked in a breath. “Kiki…”
I pressed against him, knowing he could feel how soft I was under this nightgown, fresh from the shower.
If he could still walk away now, then yeah, I’d have to accept I was a complete failure.
“Kiki,” he said, voice tight, before suddenly pulling away, His hands gripped my shoulders, head down, breathing like he’d just run five miles.
His Adam’s apple bobbed, and I could see he was shaking.
He looked like he’d just crossed a finish line, exhausted.
Twasn’t much better. I’d made this move, and now I felt both embarrassed and bold as hell.
“It’s late,” Hayden muttered, stepping back and turning like he was ready to bolt.
A cold rush of anger and humiliation hit me. “Hayden, it’s this late and you’re really leaving? Is it that you can’t, or that you just don’t want me?”
He froze, one foot already out the door. After a beat, he turned back around.
I couldn’t see myself, but I knew I looked a mess–eyes red, face pale. That’s what happens when you feel wrecked and humiliated.
Hayden locked eyes with me, his gaze intense and stormy. In one smooth move, he kicked the door shut behind him and then the room dimmed as he pulled me in, his lips crashing into mine.
I felt the heat surge through me as he kissed me hard, his hand tangling in my hair, tilting my head back. His grip on me was firm, like he couldn’t get close enough…
I was wrapped up in a kind of fire I’d never known, experiencing the kind of passion I’d only ever dreamed
about.
“Kiki, is this okay?” Hayden’s voice was rough, shaky, right in my ear.
His words snapped me back to reality. Was it okay?
I remembered before my parents passed away. I was already twelve then, and my body had started to change. My mom had given me the talk–about my body, about relationships, about boys.
She said a girl shouldn’t let a guy touch her unless she was ready to trust him with her whole life. And before making that call, she needed to be sure he deserved that trust.
Was I really ready to trust Hayden with my whole life?
Sure, I wanted him here tonight, but a lifetime? That felt so huge, so far off, full of question marks.
+25 BONUS
Chapter 241
Suddenly, I didn’t know anymore.
My hesitation must’ve snapped him out of it. He gently brushed his cheek against my hair. “Let’s wait a little longer.”
My mind was racing. I didn’t even know what to say.
“But you need to know something,” he said, his voice low and rough. “It’s not that I can’t or that I’m not into you. I just want to wait until you’re sure before we take the next step.”
His words made my eyes sting with all kinds of emotions.
I couldn’t even explain it–there was this mix of being touched, excited, embarrassed, and a little hurt, too.
What was I even doing?
Was I really trying to use this to test Hayden’s feelings for me?
Jace never acted like this because he didn’t love me enough. But why did I think it was okay to put Hayden in the same position?
In that moment, I realized how stupid and clueless I’d been.
Hayden was responsible and honorable. If he were the type to take advantage, I’d be the one getting hurt.
Right now, I was thankful for his self–control and regretted my impulsiveness.
I pushed him away and bolted to my bedroom, like I was escaping.
Hayden’s soft laugh followed me. “I’m heading out. Don’t forget to drink the oatmeal.”
I couldn’t even respond.
+25 BONUS
Chapter 242
