Chapter 5
I hovered over the blank piece of paper, the pen quivering in my grasp. My chest constricted each time I attempted to enclose the words that flowed in my mind. How can one letter capture years of heartache, faith, and love?
The only sound in the otherwise quiet flat was the gentle ticking of the clock on the wall. Once
more, Liam was gone, leaving me to think alone. Being alone allowed me the time I needed to
absorb everything, but it also made me face reality, which was both a benefit and a drawback.
I placed the pen on the paper and applied just enough pressure to initiate the ink flow.
Liam
I stopped and gazed at his name. For someone who had so thoroughly broken me, it felt too
intimate, too familiar. I thought about crossing it out, but decided against it. This was for me, not
just for him.
I’ll be gone by the time you read this
The words gazed back at me, uncompromising and decisive. I took a deep breath and went on.
I never imagined that we would get here. I had faith in you–in us. I put everything of my future,
my heart, and everything else in your hands. However, once confidence is lost, it cannot be
restored. Liam, you lied to me. I never imagined the extent of your betrayal. At this point, I am
forced to depart.
My palm shook, and a tear trickled down my cheek, smearing the ink. I took a deep, calming
breath and wiped it away.
I couldn’t help but think about the pledges we made to one another.
The night Liam first confessed his love to me, he had said, “Forever, Nora.” As his words encircled
me like a cozy hug, the world around us vanished into nothing while we slept on a blanket
beneath the sky. “Always you and me.”
I had trusted him. God, I had trusted him.
I also recalled the small things, like how he would bring me coffee exactly the way I wanted it,
stroke my hair back when I was anxious, and how his chuckle would lighten the mood of the
room. The image of him now, a guy I hardly recognized, fought against those recollections.
I went back to the letter, my resolve growing stronger.
I now doubt everything, including myself, because of you. I’ve stayed up at night wondering what I missed or what went wrong. In really, though, this is about you, not about me. Your decisions, your deceptions, and your disregard for the love we established.
My rage flashed, fast and fierce, and the pen froze in my hand. He has no right to make me feel this way. How could he break my heart and act as if nothing was wrong?
Emotions swirled within me as I suddenly stood up and paced the living room. Anger and love
combined to create a poisonous mixture that left me gasping for air. I wanted to despise him, but I
knew I wasn’t ready because of the pain in my chest.
As I considered what my life had devolved into, the apartment felt more cramped than normal,
with the walls pressing in. A luggage under the bed, boxes concealed in the closet, and a letter I
was unable to finish. I was in a state of indecision, torn between continuing to fight and giving up.
I jumped as I heard a car door bang outside. Liam wasn’t expected home for another hour, so I took a quick look at the time. Nevertheless, I felt a wave of terror at the idea of him entering and
discovering me in this state.
I slipped the folded note into my jeans‘ back pocket I would have to pretend that nothing was
wrong if he returned home right away.
However, normal no longer existed, did it? Not in light of what I had discovered. Not following
Isabel’s sly smile and those heart–piercing texts.
I returned to my seat at the table and gazed at the empty spot where I had left off. Now, entangled in the complexity of my feelings, the words would not come.
Rather, I grabbed my phone and looked over the messages that Liam and I had exchanged. I was cruelly reminded of how much we’d had–and how much I stood to lose–by months of “I love yous,
informal updates, and inside jokes.
I opened the topic with the unknown number almost instinctively after that.
“Did you locate what you were trying to find? You underestimate how bad it is.
There was the unanswered message from yesterday night. Before I could stop myself, I typed a
reply.
“What do you mean?”
With my thumb hovering over the submit button, I paused. Whoever this individual was, they obviously had knowledge. Did I want to hear it, though?
The sound of keys in the lock startled me before I could make up my mind. When the door opened and Liam entered, his look relaxed and his tie untied, my heart leaped.
I said, placing my phone face–down on the table, “You’re home early.”
“The meeting was interrupted,” he said with a casual smile. “I hoped to surprise you.”
I didn’t miss the irony.
Chapter 5
3/3
It was a quiet dinner. Liam struck up a conversation with me about his day, but I was too busy thinking about the letter burning a hole in my pocket to respond.
“You haven’t been talking much lately,” he finally observed, putting down his fork. “Is something
happening?”
I forced a grin as I looked into his eyes. “Just stress from work.”
Despite a small narrowing of his eyes, he nodded. You are aware that we can speak, aren’t you?”
Naturally, I lied, the words stinging my mouth.
I sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the letter I was holding later that night after Liam had gone to sleep. My mind was a battleground of opposing feelings as my fingers moved over the
folds in the paper.
I saw leaving it on his pillow and leaving without turning around. But it wasn’t enough to imagine his finding it when he woke up, reading what I had said, and understanding what he had lost.
I hoped he would sense it. to comprehend the extent of his actions. And that’s not what a letter
would do.
Having made up my mind, I tucked the letter into the drawer of the nightstand.
I noticed my phone flickering on the bedside table as I got into bed next to Liam. The screen was illuminated by a fresh message from the unidentified number.
“Come see me tomorrow. I will demonstrate everything to you.
As I gazed at the message and felt the weight of their promise set in, my heart began to accelerate
Everything.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but I knew I couldn’t ignore it.
And everything would be different if I discovered anything tomorrow.
