“Clean it up.”
And then he turned and walked back inside.
A strange rage flared inside me. I had put up
with his affair. I had put up with his threats to
my family. I had put up with Sarah’s
provocations. I had put up with the time I had
to carry his child, unwillingly.
<
I had endured it all for three years.
Now, he wants to kill me? I was done.
If we were going down, then we were all
going down.
I ran after him and grabbed his arm, forcing
him to turn around.
I slapped him as hard as I could.
His head snapped to the side, his eyes were
dark, staring straight at me.
Seeing the red mark on his cheek felt
satisfying.
“Nine a.m. tomorrow. We’re getting
divorced,”
L
“I didn’t kill Sarah. Stop blaming me for
everything. You know how I got pregnant. And
I didn’t show up the day you wanted the
divorce because your mom took me back to
the old house.”
“It was your mom who told people to bury
her. She just couldn’t stand how you were
carrying on. Stop blaming everything on
everyone else.”
Jason didn’t react.
I didn’t care if he believed me or not. It was
over.
I was done.
As I drove away from the Sterling estate, I
replayed the question Jason had asked me.
<
“Have you ever tasted what it’s like when your
soulmate dies?”
Soulmate?
Ha!
What did I answer at the time?
Oh, right.
I said, “Jason, you died in my eyes a long
time ago.”
When two people love each other, they don’t
see anyone else.
I didn’t see Sarah back then.
Now Jason doesn’t see me
L
Chapter 5
“After so many years together, are you really
okay with this?”
Mark, a friend we’d both known forever,
asked. He’d been my messenger during that
awful love triangle.
Was I okay with it?
Seven years of love and hate and obsession.
Of course I had fantasized he might change
his mind and come running back to me.
But after Sarah’s death, it was clear.
Being the one who was picked, either way,
was a losing battle.
<
I chuckled, tapping the ashes from my
cigarette.
I’d picked up smoking the moment I found out
about Sarah.
I never liked to drink, I was afraid I’d do
something stupid. So I smoked, a way to try
to calm myself down.
It was a way to try and numb my aching
heart.
Seeing my silence, Mark was getting a little
irritated. He lost it and shouted,
“You are a complete idiot! Sarah might not
even be dead!”
frowned “What does that mean?”
く
He was silent for a while, and finally spilled
the whole story.
Sarah wasn’t dead!
That was a curveball.
She had a tantrum and ran off. Then she had
a car accident. Jason’s grandfather, wanting
things to go smoothly and because I was
pregnant, had simply declared her dead and
hid her away, to get Jason to move on.
But it had all gone wrong. Jason had
completely lost it, digging up the gravesite in
the middle of the night.
Jason’s mom hadn’t known what else to do,
so she had finally caved in and brought Sarah
back.
<
Mark sighed. He wanted to try and convince
me:
“It doesn’t have to end in divorce, Lara. I can
see that he still has feelings for you.”
“Now that everything is out in the open, have
the baby, with the support of the Sterlings
and your family, Sarah won’t be able to pull
anything on you. You’ll be alright.”
“And then?”
I reached over and snuffed out my cigarette. I
asked him, calmly.
I knew where this was going.
He hesitated. Seeing that my face was
neutral, he simply gave up.
<
I ignored him, and continued:
“And then I continue to put up with them,
with Sarah’s little scenes. And they continue
their drama, the chase and the escape?”
“And when I have my child, they have to grow
up in this mess?”
“What if Sarah gets bored and decides to
fake her own death again? My child and I
would have to be sacrificed for her, wouldn’t
we?”
I laughed.
I remembered him squeezing my throat,
calling my child a bastard, and then, the same
night, going crazy, digging up Sarah’s grave.
<
He would get on his knees in front of his
grandfather for her information, only to push
me in the fire.
