Chapter 14
The moment Cassandra opened the envelope, Sebastian’s elegant handwriting came into view once more.
“Cassie, I’m sure you’re the one reading this letter because I can’t imagine anyone else looking for me. That thought alone makes me a bit sad. After all these years of living, 1 suddenly vanish one day, and yet, you’re the only person who might search for me.
“What’s even sadder is that I’m not entirely sure if you would come looking for me. After all, you have Keith. I’m sorry–maybe that’s not something you want to hear. Please don’t be angry. I’m not blaming you. In fact, I’m truly happy for you.
“Being alone in this world is incredibly lonely. To find someone you love and to share your life with them is a blessing I can only dream of.
“But Cassie, every time I wish you well, you don’t believe me. You always think that I still have feelings for you that my blessings are fake, that I’m deceiving you, or that I have ulterior motives,
“But that’s not true. Yes, I admit that I still love you, and perhaps I always will. Even if a thousand or ten thousand years pass, this feeling won’t change. But my blessings for you are genuine, just as my love for you is.
“By the time you read this, I’ll already be lying in the cryogenic chamber. There’s no reason for me to lie. So, Cassie, can you believe me now?
“I truly wish you a life of happiness–a life where you grow old with the one you love, build a happy family, and enjoy all the beauty the world has to offer, even if I’m not the one beside you.
“Please, Cassie, don’t let my departure sadden you or make you feel guilty. My decision was my own and had nothing to do with you.
“When I was a child, I used to hide in the closet whenever my parents fought. It was dark and cold, but it was the only place I felt safe. That small, enclosed space was my entire world back then. Later, you pulled me out of that closet and into the vast, bright world.
But even then, my heart never felt at home. Perhaps I overestimated myself. After being confined to a small space for so long, I couldn’t adapt to the enormity of the world. Fortunately, I still had you, Cassie. I feared nothing as long as you were by my side.
“So I quietly placed my heart in your hands. My love for you quietly grew with the changing seasons. I never thought it was wrong. On the contrary, thought it was sacred.
“When I was in school, one of my favorite teachers told me that no one is ever truly alone in this world. Every person is connected by invisible threads that form the web of humanity. For most people, these threads are family, friends, and lovers. But I had none of those. I only had you.
“I stood at the crossroads, the crowds rushing past me. The city was full of people, but they were all strangers–faceless, distant. But you, Cassie, you were the exception. You were my only connection to this world.
“You held me when I was cold, comforted me when I was afraid, celebrated my birthdays, and made me feel seen.
“Yet, you’ve called my feelings for you twisted. Keith even called me a psycho, Still, how could I not love you? You were the one who pulled me out of my crumbling world when my mother couldn’t bear my father’s manipulation any longer and ended it all with a knite and a noose.
You told me my father loved my mother. He just didn’t know how to show it. You told me my mother loved me, but she couldn’t control herself. Afraid of hurting me, she chose to leave first and entrusted me to you to care for me in her place. You could understand their twisted love. So, why can’t you accept mine?
“You don’t have to answer that. I’m not seeking a response. I just want you to know that loving you has been the most sacred thing I’ve ever done. Even If you can’t understand or accept it, please don’t push me away so harshly. Don’t see me as disgusting, and don’t hate me.
“When the years pass, technology advances and cancer is curable, please don’t thaw me. My connection to this world was you, and now that it’s severed, Ino longer care about the world outsile.
“I’ve returned to my ‘closet.‘ It is small, enclosed, and most importantly, it is safe. I’ll sleep now–a long, long sleep–with no expectation of waking again. Before I close my eyes, I after you one final blessing, my beloved Cassie
“Happy wedding. May your life be filled with joy, and may you live without regrets.
“From, Sebastian Lowell.”
