Chapter 15
After saying that, Fabian turned and walked out of the bar. He headed straight for his car. He lit a cigarette and took a long drag in an attempt to calm the turmoil inside him.
But the memories he had fought so hard to suppress came crashing over him like a tidal wave, drowning him completely.
That was their first time together.
Valerie lay beneath him. Her cheeks were flushed with a soft pink hue, and her eyes brimmed with love and trust.
“Fab, will you love me forever?”
Fabian had kissed her forehead and whispered, “Of course. I’ll love you till we’re old and gray.”
Her body trembled slightly. There was a mixture of nervousness and anticipation in her gaze.
Fabian moved slowly and gently. He seemed to be afraid of hurting her. His fingers traced the contours of her skin, feeling the warmth of her body and the rhythm of her heartbeat.
Her breaths quickened, and her eyes were glazed over with a hazy glow.
“Fab, it feels so good…” she murmured in a trembling voice.
Fabian silenced her with a kiss.
As his movements gained urgency, their breaths mingled, and their bodies pressed so close it felt like they would melt into each other.
Valerie had clung to him. She dug her nails into his back as if terrified he would disappear.
At that moment, he was filled with pure joy and contentment. He knew he could never let her go.
Now, Fabian gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white.
His body responded on its own, and all he could think about was Valerie. Every piece of her came rushing back, colliding into a single truth.
Closing his eyes, he slid his hand down to his belt as he gave in to his own release.
Everything he had tried so hard to suppress came crashing down at that moment.
His breath turned ragged, and sweat beaded on his forehead. When Fabian finally released himself, his entire body slumped against the seat. He felt utterly drained.
That was the moment he knew that he was doomed.
He was done lying to himself. No matter how much he hated Valerie and how desperately he wanted to erase her from his mind, his heart refused to let her go.
Valerie was Amelia’s murderer, the one person he could never forgive. And yet, she was also the only woman he had ever loved.
By sunrise, he had gone through an entire pack of cigarettes. The floor was littered with crushed cigarette butts.
Fabian made a decision. He got in his car and drove to the cemetery.
Rain poured down in sheets. The heavy droplets pelted the ground like shattered beads, sending ripples through the puddles.
The cemetery was empty.
Fabian knelt before Amelia’s gravestone, unmoving. Rain soaked through his hair, his face, and his clothes. He was drenched to the bone, but he didn’t flinch. His eyes stayed locked on Amelia’s picture. Her gentle, warm smile was now a weight he could barely bear.
As he clenched his fists, his nails dug into his palms. Blood mixed with rainwater dripped onto the earth.
“Mom.” His voice was hoarse as if it had been forced out from the depths of his throat. “I’m sorry.”
The rain drowned out his words. It was as though they had never existed.
Valerie’s image ect.oed in his mind. Every memory was a blade, carving into him, over and over, until the pain stole his breath.
He knew how pathetic it was.
Valerie was the reason Argelia was dead. She was the one person he was supposed to hate for the rest of his life.
But why couldn’t he stop thinking about her? Why couldn’t he let her go when he hated her?
“Mom, I tried. I swear i tried.” Fabian’s voice trembled. “But I still can’t forget her.”
