As my rehab was winding down, Liam told me
he was “in the area” and offered me a ride.
He chatted with Professor Kevin for a long
time, and then turned to me, grinning.
“Congratulations, Ava ‘The Great Ballerina‘.”
I rolled my eyes, “Come on! I just got my body
back, I’ve got a long way to go.”
“And, who knows if I’ll even get another shot…”
Liam’s smile faded. “Remember when I said I
might need your help?”
I nodded.
He fiddled with his nose, “My piece is finished,
but it needs a lead. Ava, would you be willing to
do it?”
I was speechless.
<
“No, I can’t…”
“It’ll start out as smaller performances, so no big deal if you mess up.” Liam said. “No
pressure. Think about it.”
I knew I should say no.
Because this was Liam’s most important work
yet.
Because there were more experienced dancers
out there, better suited for the part.
Because…
But I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
I wanted this chance so badly.
Back at the dorm, Lily gave me a piece of her
mind.
<
“Why the hell would you say no? You have to
do it.”
She pulled out my suitcase.
“If you give up now, I won’t ever acknowledge
that you’re my friend.”
“It’s easy to stay stuck in your own pain, just
feeling sorry for yourself. But, it’s way harder to
make a change, to rip yourself apart to move
forward,” Lily said. “And even those tiny
chances are being fought over by a bunch of
other people.”
“I’m a coward,” she said, her voice breaking,
“But I need my friends to be brave.”
“So, stop being afraid, Ava. Just go.”
…Soon, my treatments were over.
I cleaned my dorm, filled the fridge with food,
<
and told Lily to text me if she couldn’t find
anything.
Even though we’d known each other for a short
time, it was hard to say goodbye.
“Stop being so dramatic, just go.” Lily said
impatiently.
My final memory of her was Lily by the window,
waving goodbye. The sun was on her face, and
she looked so carefree. Like she had never
been sad a day in her life.
That was the last time I saw her.
Back home, my parents finally found out about
my divorce.
They were furious. “Have you lost your mind?”
“A wealthy husband like that, most people
would kill for that!”
<
“We work so hard to give you a good life, and
you go and throw it all away?”
…After the shouting, they demanded that I
reconcile with Ben.
For Ryan’s sake, he’d agree to get back
together, they said.
I said no.
My father clutched his chest, “I can’t believe I
raised such a fool!”
My mother stared at me, heartbroken.
I sat on the sofa, feeling tiny.
“He’s in love with someone else. He doesn’t
care about me,” I said.
“So what?” my dad replied. “Even if the guy
<
cheats, you have to stay with him. When the kid
inherits, you’ll be set for life!”
“Ava, you’re not a kid anymore, think about us
too!”
I shook my head, “With Chloe around, Ben will
never pull out from our company.”
“The woman he wants is Chloe. You both know
that, right? Very soon you’ll be hearing of their
wedding announcement.”
They ignored my words and said, “If you insist
on this, don’t ever come back!”
I placed my heart medication in front of my
father and said, “I have always put your needs
first. I want to think about myself for once.”
“If you can’t accept it, then pretend I was never
born.”
<
They were silent.
Like they never thought I would do this.
…I rented a place and blocked all contact with
my parents.
Most days, I was at the studio, rehearsing Liam’s choreography.
The people in the group were quirky and
friendly, a huge change from my heavy,
repressed home life.
They were always laughing, but when they
danced, they were totally focused. I didn’t want
to hold them back.
For a long time, my life consisted of waking up
at 8 am, rehearsing, discussing details with
Liam and the others, and then falling asleep
exhausted.
<
This life was way different than my pampered
days as Ben’s wife.
No more housekeeper, no more nanny.
Everything had to be done by myself.
90
Add to that the leaky ceiling in my apartment, a two–hour commute, plus the chores.
I thought I would never get used to it.
But the exhaustion kept me from being lonely.
I forgot about the drama and the chaos. I just
focused on the dance.
One evening, Liam suggested we walk home
together.
We walked along the streets, past one
streetlamp to another.
My small apartment building was at the end of
8:11
the street.
Liam said I was completely different than six
months ago.
“Have I become a mess?” I asked.
If my parents saw me now, they would not recognize me.
Compared to the branded designer clothes I used to wear, I now went out in t–shirts and
sneakers.
I also wasn’t so formal and even used curse
words with the other dancers.
They say that once you use a bad word, your
soul becomes clean. I totally get it now.
“Kind of,” Liam said, “You used to be so
gorgeous, but sad. Now you’re wearing
whatever, but you actually smile.”
90
<
“I like you better now.”
90
He immediately turned red. The mood suddenly
became weird.
We were at my apartment already. I felt awkward.
I pulled out my keys to open the door, but then,
a hand reached out and pulled me behind him.
Ben was standing in front of me, his expression cold. “Who’s this?”
“Who are you?” Liam asked.
Ben said, “We have a kid, how about you?”
Liam was about to reply, but I pushed him and
told him to shut up.
“We’re divorced,” I told Ben. “The kid…has
nothing to do with me either, but I’ll pay child
く
support.”
I opened the door.
Ben and Liam weren’t leaving. “Do you want
some tea?” I asked, forcing a smile.
Steam rose from my teacup.
Ben sat on the sofa, looking uncomfortable.
Liam was following me in the kitchen like a
puppy.
“It’s okay, I don’t want tea.”
“What, you’re making me a juice?
“Yeah, I know where everything is. I’ll get it.”
…The tea was cold.
Ben was still there, staring.
く
8:11
“Is there anything else? I need to go to bed,” I
asked.
Ben glanced at Liam, then laughed, “So, you
dumped me for this pretty boy.”
“When did it start?”
I was so tired from dancing that I didn’t want to waste my time explainig anything. “Whatever you think,” I said.
“Okay.” Ben said, putting down the teacup. His
face was calm, but his knuckles were white.
“Ava, you’ll regret your choices.”
He got up and walked away.
After he left, Liam said, “Did I interrupt
something?”
I looked at him, “Yep.”
90
<
8:11
“Oh.” Liam said, slowly. “Am I responsible for
this?”
He looked serious, his gaze intense.
I was three years older than Liam, and I’d
started dance way earlier than him. I was basically his mentor.
When he was starving himself, I’d sneak food to
him.
When our teacher caught me, he’d cry and say
it was his fault.
I always thought of him as my little brother.
But somewhere along the way, he’d grown up.
“I was just kidding,” I said.
“But I wasn’t kidding.” Liam replied,
90
The AC blew a cold breeze.
“Sorry,”
Liam sighed. “Okay, I got rejected.”
He turned to leave, “I’m not going to bother you
anymore, it’s late.”
I watched him go and asked, “Can I still come
practice tomorrow?”
“Nope.”
I looked at him.
“You believed me?” Liam looked annoyed, “Do
you think I would abuse my position like that?”
I relaxed. “See you tomorrow?”
Liam paused at the door and looked back at
- me. “Ava?”
“Yeah?” I was close.
“I’m sad, but it’s just once, you still have 99
chances to turn me down.”
Then, he turned and left. “See ya.”
After I shut the door, I went to close the
window.
A red glow caught my eye.
Ben was standing there, smoking, his face
hidden in the shadows. He was glaring at Liam.
The show was next week.
